I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
