Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
