I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
