my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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