Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
