My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
