he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
