I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
