we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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