Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
