We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
