Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
