I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
