p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
