At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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