yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
