i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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