after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
