Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
