I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
