I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
