Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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