my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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