He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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