this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So squirting runs in the family.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
