Sponge bath it is.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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