You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
