i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
