when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cannot find my penis.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
