1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You don't make any sense
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