Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
