Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
