Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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