youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
