If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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