do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
