you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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