It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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