We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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