GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
