we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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