There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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