oh god the rape fog is back!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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