He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
