shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
