can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
