Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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