If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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