so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
