Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
false alarm, still single
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
